I am not an Arsenal fan but i like their attacking football. This article is taken from Goal.com and although none of them are my thoughts, i must agree with every word of it :) :)
Arsenal - No Guts, No Glory
What a poor few weeks this has been for Arsenal’s hopes of being crowned Premiership champions. Indeed, all Arsenal fans should look away now, as a recap of their recent Premiership form makes for less than pleasant reading.
The Gunners are without a win in the league since February 11th, and have managed to claim only a paltry four points out of a possible fifteen. Simply put, it is a shocking collapse - more reminiscent of relegation form than that of title contenders. Newcastle United, Fulham and Sunderland have all taken more points from their last five games.
This disappointing run included this Sunday’s crucial 2-1 defeat to title rivals Chelsea, in a game that provides a worrying microcosm of the current problems afflicting the Arsenal team.
Although the Gunners managed to take the lead through Bacary Sagna’s first goal for the club, the stage was then set for Ivorian powerhouse Didier Drogba to play the key role in Chelsea’s emphatic comeback, with the striker scoring the two goals that saw the men from Stamford Bridge usurp Arsenal in the chasing pack behind league leaders, Manchester United.
However, not only was the loss itself a bitter blow to the Gunners' title aspirations, but as Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger noted after the game, “I feel we have some defensive problems which we need to sort out. We got caught on the long balls and the physical battle."
Anyone who saw the style in which Chelsea pummelled Arsenal with sheer ferocity after going behind will agree fully with the Arsenal manager’s rather honest assessment of his team's weakness.
Whilst it is to Arsene Wenger’s credit that he has been able to assemble a team capable of proving the point that football is 'the beautiful game', there comes a point where necessity must come hand in hand with artistry if a team is to fully prosper.
As such, there can be no doubt that the soft underbelly displayed by the Arsenal backline bullied into submission by Chelsea is their Achilles' heel. This seemed to be something that Arsene Wenger was previously aware of, with his title winning Arsenal teams of the past being manned by players of the physical capabilities of Tony Adams, Martin Keown and Patrick Vieira.
Indeed, even flying French winger Robert Pirès stood at a height of over 6 feet. Whilst all these players were capable of reaching the high technical standard expected by Wenger, they were also able to stand up tall in the face of the challenges presented by the less complex and more basic nuances of the game.
This, however, cannot be said of the current Arsenal team that boasts a first choice backline consisting of no player that stands above 6 feet tall, and which has exhibited an alarming inability to prosper in the overtly physical world that is the Premiership.
Indeed, they did earlier in the season - fresh and in peak form. For that, they deserve due credit. But with the demands peaking as the season moves into overdrive, and a couple of injuries here and there, all of a sudden, opponents saw something to aim at.
This Sunday’s match against Chelsea more than proved this viewpoint, with the Arsenal midfield being over ran by the power of Michael Essien when he was switched to his more favoured central position, and a defence that simply could not withstand the Blues' striking duo of Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba, when Chelsea manager Avram Grant made the all important decision to introduce the ex-Arsenal striker to the fray.
Whilst it would undoubtedly serve as a blow to Wenger’s ego, he really should look no further than the examples set by his fellow title contenders if he is to see the blueprint of what it will take to get Arsenal’s name back on the Premiership crown.
How often will you see Chelsea's centre back pairing of John Terry and Ricardo Carvalho be run ragged and physically undermined? Even in their worst games, that is very unlikely to be the case.
Furthermore, Wenger should also see the doctrine laid out by Sir Alex Ferguson’s Manchester United side, in which players of an exuberance and flair to match the brilliance of Wenger’s own side are backed up by an ironclad defence that has managed to concede a miserly 15 goals in the league so far this season.
It is imperative for Arsenal that he starts setting up defences of the quality of Manchester United’s and Chelsea’s to stand any hope of ending his side's four year wait to claim another Premiership trophy - now set to become at least five.
However, the Arsenal backline will be unnerved to find out that this weekend’s fixture list sees them travel to Bolton Wanderers, who, in the Sam Allardyce era, had made a canny habit of roughing Arsenal up. It might be easier this time - with Anelka having made his impact on Sunday - but the damage might already have been done, one fears.
We love your football Arsene, but some steel in the midriff would not hurt.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
espléndida
Dine in and Dine out,
Log in and Log out,
Drink in and puke out,
Yes Ma'm and jump out,
Hold her and slap loud,
Think in and wipe out,
Salary in and Credit out,
Wife in and Life out,
Freak in and Hang out,
Two pegs and knocked out,
No cash and thrown out,
movies and nite out,
Aimless and always doubt,
No future, who care about,
Nobody knows his whereabouts
Day of an Engineer !!
Log in and Log out,
Drink in and puke out,
Yes Ma'm and jump out,
Hold her and slap loud,
Think in and wipe out,
Salary in and Credit out,
Wife in and Life out,
Freak in and Hang out,
Two pegs and knocked out,
No cash and thrown out,
movies and nite out,
Aimless and always doubt,
No future, who care about,
Nobody knows his whereabouts
Day of an Engineer !!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
A dog like and a dog-alike
Dogs are very important parts of our lives in india. They are referenced just anywhere and everywhere. The day we are born, we start understanding what it means to be a dog. When you are just three, you get a toy where dog barks when you tweak his ears, you love them. When you are five, mom makes you stuff milk and pulses saying 'If you wont eat, i will leave you to the dog
next door'. Here, you hate them. When you are ten, they wag their tails when you are roll in the muddy field along with them. you love them again. When you are thirteen, they bite you for the first time which leads you to get your first injection since age 5, you hate them again. When you become sixteen, you get one of your own and you love them seeing jumping and
moving around, you love them most. When you turn twenty, street dogs bark at you because they cant tolerate your alien hairdo or the noise of your vehicle. You hate them most here. When you are 23, your girlfriend call you dog and you love that like never before. This is a
vicious circle which goes on till the time you find that there are some other kind of dogs in this world as well and at that moment you find your true love and respect for dogs. The moment you realise the difference between a 'dog' and a 'dog alike'.
These other kind of dogs are American dogs basically born and brought up in america. Actually they are not dog, they can be chow chow, pekepoo, papoo, goldador, french bull dog but you just cant call them as 'dog'. The major characteristics of these tribes are :
1) Peaceful-They never bark or create any kind of noise even if you jump on their tail holding 15 kg weights in each hand.
2) Coward-They never run behind your vehicles, you can honk them and disturb their sleep any number of times but they dont
have courage to revenge for that.
3) Lazy-They dont eat shit. They live on artificial dog food having blah blah amount of proteins and fats which keep them
lazier.
4) Well-mannered- They always sit on the backseats of your car with their seatbelts on and greet everybody who passes them
by. They even warns their owner whenever they have to shit. Owners buy a seperate car and hires a bangladeshi driver to give
them a regular evening ride.
5) GentleDOG-They wear clothes like superman tees, sandos, ribbons, ties and cap. They can not be chained as it is against
their fundamental rights.
These 'dog alikes' have similar rights as normal human beings apart from the fact that you can touch a human being and will not get sacked in any offense. The only time they forced to bark is the time when they have intercourse with a female 'dog alike' under the legal terms and supervision of attorney where it is being taken care that both should be equally
involved and pleased.If any of them stop barking then the concerned party has to pay hefty penalty of not attending the other party in a dignified manner. The puppies' ownership is decided by a superbowl game between two families where family getting knocked out have to pay for puppies' primary education for seven years and clean their shit.
Obviously, when dog power is so strong they need to have seperate attention. Here you find dog clinics which specializes in a particular breed of dog only, dog maternity homes where they keep the track of how many puppies can be delivered upto the safe limit, dog parks where dogs can have water-rides, zakoozee, meditation centre and volleyball courts. There are hundreds of
events like dog olympics, dogs paralympics, miss bitch USA, miss teen bitch USA, mr bull dog usa, mr hot dog usa, mr cool dog usa, mr powerful usa, american idol etc etc.There are awards for them as well like 'most silky hairy dog' who gets one year advertising agreement from Garnier, 'most efficient bitch' where criteria is how many puppies she can deliver in a single shot, 'best dog in comic role', 'best dog in Van Hausen shirt' etc etc. I was just wondering if we have similar awards in india they will be like 'best cracky sounding dog', 'dog with alright
four legs', 'dog who never eat shit', 'dog who bath twice a week', 'dog who looks better than chandrachud singh'.
I remember once an american dog came to visit india to one of his indian dog friend, he asked for a massage parlour. It took our indian dog three hours to understand what he was trying to say and when finally american dog rolled on the ground and rubbed his body twice, indian dog jumped with a cunning smile and took him to a stable where they freaked out for an hour. American dog felt happy of his hospitality and gave indian dog KFC chicken wings which his entire family of 13 gulped in less than 13 seconds.Then they watched 'teri meharbaniyan' together and indain dog cried 18th time after watching the same movie.
Whatever its like but whenever you mean 'dog' it means someone with a raw attitude, who can go beyond the limits, a macho with a macho face and stubborn look. Someone who can give and take life on a single command.I wish someday in future the 'dog-alikes' identify their true destiny and become dogs finally. I will dare to watch 'teri meharbaniyan' that day.
next door'. Here, you hate them. When you are ten, they wag their tails when you are roll in the muddy field along with them. you love them again. When you are thirteen, they bite you for the first time which leads you to get your first injection since age 5, you hate them again. When you become sixteen, you get one of your own and you love them seeing jumping and
moving around, you love them most. When you turn twenty, street dogs bark at you because they cant tolerate your alien hairdo or the noise of your vehicle. You hate them most here. When you are 23, your girlfriend call you dog and you love that like never before. This is a
vicious circle which goes on till the time you find that there are some other kind of dogs in this world as well and at that moment you find your true love and respect for dogs. The moment you realise the difference between a 'dog' and a 'dog alike'.
These other kind of dogs are American dogs basically born and brought up in america. Actually they are not dog, they can be chow chow, pekepoo, papoo, goldador, french bull dog but you just cant call them as 'dog'. The major characteristics of these tribes are :
1) Peaceful-They never bark or create any kind of noise even if you jump on their tail holding 15 kg weights in each hand.
2) Coward-They never run behind your vehicles, you can honk them and disturb their sleep any number of times but they dont
have courage to revenge for that.
3) Lazy-They dont eat shit. They live on artificial dog food having blah blah amount of proteins and fats which keep them
lazier.
4) Well-mannered- They always sit on the backseats of your car with their seatbelts on and greet everybody who passes them
by. They even warns their owner whenever they have to shit. Owners buy a seperate car and hires a bangladeshi driver to give
them a regular evening ride.
5) GentleDOG-They wear clothes like superman tees, sandos, ribbons, ties and cap. They can not be chained as it is against
their fundamental rights.
These 'dog alikes' have similar rights as normal human beings apart from the fact that you can touch a human being and will not get sacked in any offense. The only time they forced to bark is the time when they have intercourse with a female 'dog alike' under the legal terms and supervision of attorney where it is being taken care that both should be equally
involved and pleased.If any of them stop barking then the concerned party has to pay hefty penalty of not attending the other party in a dignified manner. The puppies' ownership is decided by a superbowl game between two families where family getting knocked out have to pay for puppies' primary education for seven years and clean their shit.
Obviously, when dog power is so strong they need to have seperate attention. Here you find dog clinics which specializes in a particular breed of dog only, dog maternity homes where they keep the track of how many puppies can be delivered upto the safe limit, dog parks where dogs can have water-rides, zakoozee, meditation centre and volleyball courts. There are hundreds of
events like dog olympics, dogs paralympics, miss bitch USA, miss teen bitch USA, mr bull dog usa, mr hot dog usa, mr cool dog usa, mr powerful usa, american idol etc etc.There are awards for them as well like 'most silky hairy dog' who gets one year advertising agreement from Garnier, 'most efficient bitch' where criteria is how many puppies she can deliver in a single shot, 'best dog in comic role', 'best dog in Van Hausen shirt' etc etc. I was just wondering if we have similar awards in india they will be like 'best cracky sounding dog', 'dog with alright
four legs', 'dog who never eat shit', 'dog who bath twice a week', 'dog who looks better than chandrachud singh'.
I remember once an american dog came to visit india to one of his indian dog friend, he asked for a massage parlour. It took our indian dog three hours to understand what he was trying to say and when finally american dog rolled on the ground and rubbed his body twice, indian dog jumped with a cunning smile and took him to a stable where they freaked out for an hour. American dog felt happy of his hospitality and gave indian dog KFC chicken wings which his entire family of 13 gulped in less than 13 seconds.Then they watched 'teri meharbaniyan' together and indain dog cried 18th time after watching the same movie.
Whatever its like but whenever you mean 'dog' it means someone with a raw attitude, who can go beyond the limits, a macho with a macho face and stubborn look. Someone who can give and take life on a single command.I wish someday in future the 'dog-alikes' identify their true destiny and become dogs finally. I will dare to watch 'teri meharbaniyan' that day.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Koffee with Karan : Ricky Ponting
Karan: Hello everybody today we have a special guest in our show.Surprisingly, he is not from film fraternity but he has prvoed himself a very good actor on and off the field.Let me introduce you to our today's guest...Australian captain Ricky Ponting.
(Lagan music played in the background...ricky enters. Karan kisses him on his cheeks. )
Karan : Welcome ricky, its nice to have you here. how it feels like to be called as 'invincible' for so many years.
Ricky : Thanks Karen. Its a great felling and all credit goes to tremendous hardwork put in by boys in recent years. Apart from usual training sessions they have been involved in various mental toughness activites. Symonds go for Victoria Secret's 'im no more scary' classes to keep his face well hidden behind his thick mop of crabshits, i mean hairs. Earlier, umpires used to shut their eyes whenever 'Roy' used to appeal for a leg before and caught behinds.
I remember once Billy Bowden pissed on his bed when he dreamt about Roy's furious appeal. Warne goes a full time course at Psycatric Rehabilitaion Centre immediately after India tours, Kasprowicz also accompanied him once just after Sharjah tour. I go to 'i can play off-spin' classes conducted by Gavin Robertson. you know everybody can play his off-spin so he has a good experience there. We generally have a brain-storming abusing session where we tie Hayden to a pole wearing mask of zorro and McGrath, Gillespie and lee abuse him and beat him with hunter.Bucknor goes for a 'make me white' personality development course...oops sorry.
(Baba Ramdev pravachans are played in background, Karan take out a pic of SRK from his pocket and starts staring lustily,
ponting starts solving yesterday's soduku).
(After 20 minutes).
Karan : Ricky, what is your opinion about GURU GREG,how good coach he is after a recent mess up in India.
Ricky : I respect GREG as much as i respect underarm. he is , you know a revolutionist.I idolize him since the day he discoverd under arm bowling.Once he told me about a magic trick called as 'BATMAN' where players constantly recite batman movie dialogues around a new batsman like 'You can't get away from Batman that easy, JOKER !!'. He gonna write a book on other tricks like SPIDERMAN, HEMAN, WEMAN, WHOMAN, WOMAN, PACMAN, YOMAN and yes, AXEMAN (ganguly knows this one better...giggles).(Sidhu laughters are played in background).He watched 300 until he found why this title was given to the movie and he was so inspired watching spartans figting againt thousands of barbarians that he never even care of billions(of
indians).
(300 dailogues are played in the background from various indian movies, Karan takes out pics of shirtless Salman Khan and starts $#%$#, ponting starts solving his sudoku).
(After 2 hours 36 minutes)...
Karan: Ricky, whom do you think is the most dangerous opponent batsman you have ever played with ?Ricky: No doubt, its NavJAT SIN SIDDU. First, he never brushes his teeths and secondly, whenver he comes to play he laughs on every chat on the ground. Several times players denied to field on silly point, slip and short leg as they got nausea becoz
of his bad breath.
(Sidhu laughters are palyed in background).
Stop it , now i am getting nausea. (Music stopped).some of his favorite all time jokes were whenever Healy used to say 'Come on warny get his ass', 'good ball boy', 'how wazzz thatttt', 'Right arm round the wicket' , 'wide ball' , 'drinks break',
'end of day's play'.
(Sidhu laughters are played again in the background, Ricky asks for spearmint gum, Karan takes out pic of Katrina kaif from his pocket and irritatingly put it back, then he takes out Aryan Vaid).
(After 1 and half minutes)...
Karan: So ricky, How do you prepare yourself before every TEST?Ricky: Well, if its Urine test, Buchanan ask us to go and piss in a bottle and add some acid to prevent oxidation. For blood
test, they take out some blood of Gilli and mixes it with . For alchohol test...i dont remember but i found they make some big spot on your ass.
Karan: Ok, Rick. We have a rapid fire round for you.Your questions, here it goes:
Question1: Which batsman scored century in his debut test against England.
Ricky enthusiastically interrupts.
Ricky: I dont need options, I know its answer. Mark Waugh ?
Karan: Your options are a) shahrukh khan b) John Abraham c) Aamir Khan d) Hrithik Roshan
Ricky: Who the hell are they ?
Karan: Sorry Ricky, its Aamir Khan in oscar nominated movie lagaan.(Sidhu laughters are played in background on this medievel
joke)
Question 2: Who is the highest run-getter of all time ? Your options are a) shahrukh khan b) John Abraham c) Aamir Khan d) Hrithik Roshan
Ricky : What the hell is this, Sachin Tendulkar is not even in the options.
Karan: Sorry, Ricky. Wrong again. Shahrukh khan in Karan Arjun...he runs in entire movie. No bollywood hero has run more than him ever not even balwant rai ka kutta. He is so cute naaa.
Question3 : Who among them have the best biceps in bollywood.
(A sound of tech director of the show from behind...this was for Mallika Sherawat show, u moron)
Karan : Ok, ricky..skip this question. Next question for you. Who is the greatest all time opener among them a) Shahrukh khan b) John Abraham c) Aamir Khan d) Hrithik Roshan
Ricky: Are you nuts ? Do they even play cricket ?
Karan: You are wrong once again Ricky, its Shahrukh. All his movies have best ever overseas opening record.(Sidhu laughters
are palyed in background).
Karan: Its your last question.Would you like to take me on dinner ?(A sound from behind...no personal questions please)
Karan: Who is called as 'Bengal Tiger' ?Ricky : Is it Saurav ganguly ?
Karan: No, you are wrong once again.Its Shahrukh Khan.(A sound from behind...he is right karan)
Karan: I was just kidding..its ganguly indeed. you performed amazing in this round. We heard you have very good frienship
with Harbhajan Singh. Tell us about that.
Ricky: We both wait a long time in the pavillion in between matches, he never get a chance to play and i get out early so
just a day before the match, me and BHAJI went to buy playstation. He likes 'Need for Speed' and so do I. On Vengaskar's suggestion, we purchased the same game for Irfan Pathan as well. We also play Tetris where my highest score is higher than his ODI ratings (giggles).
Now, we have a special guest for you here. Your close rival and indian off-spiner Harbhajan Singh.He will ask few questions and if you answer any of them correctly, you will get a Kismi Bar Hamper.
Ricky : Thats so easy. Call that moron.
Bhajji : Ricky, What did King Kong say when he called the wrong number?Ricky : He must have said 'sorry'.
Bhajji : No, he said 'King Kon ring wrong'.
(Sidhu laughters were played in background alond with Bishen singh bedi and moninder singh)
Bhajji : Next question, how much milk does my buffalo give ?
Ricky : What the hell is this !!
Bhajji : Just make a guess.
Ricky : 5 litres a day ?
Bhajji : You are wrong. I dont have a cow
(Delar mehandi song 'bolo tara rara' is played in the background)
Bhajji : Last question, How many seconds are in a year?
Ricky : Calculates for some time, that i know its around 31 556 926. Now, that Kismi bar hamper is mine.
Bhajji : No man, you are a complete idiot. Its 12 only, Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd etc
Karan : Sorry, ricky, you cudnt answer anthing. you have no knowledge about cricket, Maths, Movies and shahrukh khan.Get lost.This kismi bar hamper is for bhajji now. But i have something for you, its SRK's biography ‘Still Reading Khan’.
(Karan blushes, ricky bewilderes. Bhajji jumps and shouts "Kismi bar, Gimme a chance MR PAWAR !!")
Lights off...bhajji wake up suddenly and start counting stars....AGAIN.
(Lagan music played in the background...ricky enters. Karan kisses him on his cheeks. )
Karan : Welcome ricky, its nice to have you here. how it feels like to be called as 'invincible' for so many years.
Ricky : Thanks Karen. Its a great felling and all credit goes to tremendous hardwork put in by boys in recent years. Apart from usual training sessions they have been involved in various mental toughness activites. Symonds go for Victoria Secret's 'im no more scary' classes to keep his face well hidden behind his thick mop of crabshits, i mean hairs. Earlier, umpires used to shut their eyes whenever 'Roy' used to appeal for a leg before and caught behinds.
I remember once Billy Bowden pissed on his bed when he dreamt about Roy's furious appeal. Warne goes a full time course at Psycatric Rehabilitaion Centre immediately after India tours, Kasprowicz also accompanied him once just after Sharjah tour. I go to 'i can play off-spin' classes conducted by Gavin Robertson. you know everybody can play his off-spin so he has a good experience there. We generally have a brain-storming abusing session where we tie Hayden to a pole wearing mask of zorro and McGrath, Gillespie and lee abuse him and beat him with hunter.Bucknor goes for a 'make me white' personality development course...oops sorry.
(Baba Ramdev pravachans are played in background, Karan take out a pic of SRK from his pocket and starts staring lustily,
ponting starts solving yesterday's soduku).
(After 20 minutes).
Karan : Ricky, what is your opinion about GURU GREG,how good coach he is after a recent mess up in India.
Ricky : I respect GREG as much as i respect underarm. he is , you know a revolutionist.I idolize him since the day he discoverd under arm bowling.Once he told me about a magic trick called as 'BATMAN' where players constantly recite batman movie dialogues around a new batsman like 'You can't get away from Batman that easy, JOKER !!'. He gonna write a book on other tricks like SPIDERMAN, HEMAN, WEMAN, WHOMAN, WOMAN, PACMAN, YOMAN and yes, AXEMAN (ganguly knows this one better...giggles).(Sidhu laughters are played in background).He watched 300 until he found why this title was given to the movie and he was so inspired watching spartans figting againt thousands of barbarians that he never even care of billions(of
indians).
(300 dailogues are played in the background from various indian movies, Karan takes out pics of shirtless Salman Khan and starts $#%$#, ponting starts solving his sudoku).
(After 2 hours 36 minutes)...
Karan: Ricky, whom do you think is the most dangerous opponent batsman you have ever played with ?Ricky: No doubt, its NavJAT SIN SIDDU. First, he never brushes his teeths and secondly, whenver he comes to play he laughs on every chat on the ground. Several times players denied to field on silly point, slip and short leg as they got nausea becoz
of his bad breath.
(Sidhu laughters are palyed in background).
Stop it , now i am getting nausea. (Music stopped).some of his favorite all time jokes were whenever Healy used to say 'Come on warny get his ass', 'good ball boy', 'how wazzz thatttt', 'Right arm round the wicket' , 'wide ball' , 'drinks break',
'end of day's play'.
(Sidhu laughters are played again in the background, Ricky asks for spearmint gum, Karan takes out pic of Katrina kaif from his pocket and irritatingly put it back, then he takes out Aryan Vaid).
(After 1 and half minutes)...
Karan: So ricky, How do you prepare yourself before every TEST?Ricky: Well, if its Urine test, Buchanan ask us to go and piss in a bottle and add some acid to prevent oxidation. For blood
test, they take out some blood of Gilli and mixes it with . For alchohol test...i dont remember but i found they make some big spot on your ass.
Karan: Ok, Rick. We have a rapid fire round for you.Your questions, here it goes:
Question1: Which batsman scored century in his debut test against England.
Ricky enthusiastically interrupts.
Ricky: I dont need options, I know its answer. Mark Waugh ?
Karan: Your options are a) shahrukh khan b) John Abraham c) Aamir Khan d) Hrithik Roshan
Ricky: Who the hell are they ?
Karan: Sorry Ricky, its Aamir Khan in oscar nominated movie lagaan.(Sidhu laughters are played in background on this medievel
joke)
Question 2: Who is the highest run-getter of all time ? Your options are a) shahrukh khan b) John Abraham c) Aamir Khan d) Hrithik Roshan
Ricky : What the hell is this, Sachin Tendulkar is not even in the options.
Karan: Sorry, Ricky. Wrong again. Shahrukh khan in Karan Arjun...he runs in entire movie. No bollywood hero has run more than him ever not even balwant rai ka kutta. He is so cute naaa.
Question3 : Who among them have the best biceps in bollywood.
(A sound of tech director of the show from behind...this was for Mallika Sherawat show, u moron)
Karan : Ok, ricky..skip this question. Next question for you. Who is the greatest all time opener among them a) Shahrukh khan b) John Abraham c) Aamir Khan d) Hrithik Roshan
Ricky: Are you nuts ? Do they even play cricket ?
Karan: You are wrong once again Ricky, its Shahrukh. All his movies have best ever overseas opening record.(Sidhu laughters
are palyed in background).
Karan: Its your last question.Would you like to take me on dinner ?(A sound from behind...no personal questions please)
Karan: Who is called as 'Bengal Tiger' ?Ricky : Is it Saurav ganguly ?
Karan: No, you are wrong once again.Its Shahrukh Khan.(A sound from behind...he is right karan)
Karan: I was just kidding..its ganguly indeed. you performed amazing in this round. We heard you have very good frienship
with Harbhajan Singh. Tell us about that.
Ricky: We both wait a long time in the pavillion in between matches, he never get a chance to play and i get out early so
just a day before the match, me and BHAJI went to buy playstation. He likes 'Need for Speed' and so do I. On Vengaskar's suggestion, we purchased the same game for Irfan Pathan as well. We also play Tetris where my highest score is higher than his ODI ratings (giggles).
Now, we have a special guest for you here. Your close rival and indian off-spiner Harbhajan Singh.He will ask few questions and if you answer any of them correctly, you will get a Kismi Bar Hamper.
Ricky : Thats so easy. Call that moron.
Bhajji : Ricky, What did King Kong say when he called the wrong number?Ricky : He must have said 'sorry'.
Bhajji : No, he said 'King Kon ring wrong'.
(Sidhu laughters were played in background alond with Bishen singh bedi and moninder singh)
Bhajji : Next question, how much milk does my buffalo give ?
Ricky : What the hell is this !!
Bhajji : Just make a guess.
Ricky : 5 litres a day ?
Bhajji : You are wrong. I dont have a cow
(Delar mehandi song 'bolo tara rara' is played in the background)
Bhajji : Last question, How many seconds are in a year?
Ricky : Calculates for some time, that i know its around 31 556 926. Now, that Kismi bar hamper is mine.
Bhajji : No man, you are a complete idiot. Its 12 only, Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd etc
Karan : Sorry, ricky, you cudnt answer anthing. you have no knowledge about cricket, Maths, Movies and shahrukh khan.Get lost.This kismi bar hamper is for bhajji now. But i have something for you, its SRK's biography ‘Still Reading Khan’.
(Karan blushes, ricky bewilderes. Bhajji jumps and shouts "Kismi bar, Gimme a chance MR PAWAR !!")
Lights off...bhajji wake up suddenly and start counting stars....AGAIN.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Hide and Seek
Hiding from death and seeking a life
Hiding from truth and seeking a passage
Hiding from fire and seeking the heat
Hiding from God and seeking some peace
Hiding from sand and seeking the warmth
Hiding from rain and seeking a bath
Hiding from shadow and seeking a shape
Hiding from work and seeking a nap
Hiding from doors and seeking sunlight
Hiding from himself and seeking love
They term it 'Human Nature'
Hiding from truth and seeking a passage
Hiding from fire and seeking the heat
Hiding from God and seeking some peace
Hiding from sand and seeking the warmth
Hiding from rain and seeking a bath
Hiding from shadow and seeking a shape
Hiding from work and seeking a nap
Hiding from doors and seeking sunlight
Hiding from himself and seeking love
They term it 'Human Nature'
Friday, August 24, 2007
Darkness with in..
The fear is all ahead...the deserted highway and a dense dark
No light rays passing by, no moon...every step i hear a cloudy stark
Way is all clear as ever but i am still afraid, reluctant to take another step
Have lost some faith ??, A feeling of procrastination
I try to overcome my fear, walk ahead, another feet on the ground
Leaving everything far behind, but one thing never leaves me, my shadow
I know there is a brighter road ahead, a shelter to relax and fortify myself
But i am skeptical about another lot of halcyon days, its a whole new territory
Not many times i had to introspect this much, a massive confrontation inside
Suddenly I see a pair of squirrels, flying in bewilderment, hitting trees, making sounds
they are extremely delighted, it has started raining now, thundering,
I dont panic, i am into other things
what ? they are retarding now, getting slower , one hits the ground hard and then other.
They are badly injured, hurt, probably dead.
their feathers are still trying to fly one more time, one more dance in the rain....one more life.
I am still moving, now there is a glimpse of shimmering light, i am on new road
I see above, can see stars, clouds have disappeared, a rainbow shining too. Thundering disturbs me no more.
My feet want to move again, to run, to catch something, to jump
I have got my lesson probably, YOU DIE ONLY WHEN YOU STOP LIVING
No light rays passing by, no moon...every step i hear a cloudy stark
Way is all clear as ever but i am still afraid, reluctant to take another step
Have lost some faith ??, A feeling of procrastination
I try to overcome my fear, walk ahead, another feet on the ground
Leaving everything far behind, but one thing never leaves me, my shadow
I know there is a brighter road ahead, a shelter to relax and fortify myself
But i am skeptical about another lot of halcyon days, its a whole new territory
Not many times i had to introspect this much, a massive confrontation inside
Suddenly I see a pair of squirrels, flying in bewilderment, hitting trees, making sounds
they are extremely delighted, it has started raining now, thundering,
I dont panic, i am into other things
what ? they are retarding now, getting slower , one hits the ground hard and then other.
They are badly injured, hurt, probably dead.
their feathers are still trying to fly one more time, one more dance in the rain....one more life.
I am still moving, now there is a glimpse of shimmering light, i am on new road
I see above, can see stars, clouds have disappeared, a rainbow shining too. Thundering disturbs me no more.
My feet want to move again, to run, to catch something, to jump
I have got my lesson probably, YOU DIE ONLY WHEN YOU STOP LIVING
Friday, August 17, 2007
GUNDA - The truth Part -1
Till few days back i used to think that Speilberg was a master of sci-fi movies, Arnold-Stallon were the best action hero, Gulzar used to deliver the most blunt dialogues and A.R. Rehman is a music maestro but something....something in a day changed it all. The day i saw the most impeccable, profound and pragmatic movie of all time, a movie which leaves my favorites like Shawshank redemption, Pulp fiction, Usual Suspects, Godfather, Saving private Ryan all behind...behind by miles, 'GUNDA' the movie starring 'Prabhuji' aka Mithunda and bunch of other popular Indian villains which i am sure you will never find together in lifetime.He is too big a figure to call by his name so further i will refer him as 'Prabhuji'.
Well, there are hundreds-thousands-millions of blogs written on this epic and its just another one but i am so spell-bounded and impulsive that i cant stop myself. The best thing which rocked the movie till end is the series of unimaginable incidents and action which is obviously a result of scrupulous and well imagined write-up.
The baap of all 'Entries' : The first appearance of Prabhuji is no less than a fairytale entry. A 'coolie' at an airport's runway. Forgive my negligence or lack of knowledge but in my whole life i have never seen a 'coolie' at an airport. Only prabhuji can do marvels like this. He already knew that Kala Shetty and all other villains fly by air now a days (thanks to cheap air-tickets) so he barged directly into the airport. No detectors, No X-ray macs, No security can identify prabhuji's presence other than that pauper villain's soul (our own kala shetty)...unlucky him.Shetty was happy by act of benevolence of prabhuji...Prabhuji didnt detached his neck by a flick of his 'sudershan chakra' (billa no 786) which he used to do in ancient times.Morevoer, prabhuji never wanted people to unveil his identity so he was never seen in 'coolie' dress again in whole movie. PRABHU LEELA....
The indispensable 'Bulla' : The other thing which stops blood in your vein is dialogue delivery of BULLaaaaaa. "Mera naam hai Bulla, rakhta hoon khullaaaaaa". A large spell at the last word of every sentence produces a fiercing sensation and a pitch with noise more dangerous than the plane landing.No doubt he will be counted in the league of Mogambo, Shakaal and Gabbar after this performance. Gabbar had special love for dogs, shakaal for crocodiles and mogambo for Mr India watch but BULLaaaa is an animal lover. He keeps tiger (dont raise your eye lashes...they call him 'tiger'), our national animal....the fastly extincting tiger. He goes for a jogging at dockyard several times a day in every half an hour (depends when director gets that place to shoot, the ship standing there moves only 100 inches each day) .This guy is a disciple of Lord Krishna and he usually plays his flute without exhaling out air...David blain listening ?? His casting couch awards nominated brother (Shakti Kapoor) is a pure vegetarian and has special love for 'kela' (hope they meant bananas) and gulps Vitamin X capsules (probably homeopathic ally made indian counterpart of Viagra). Not to forget, he keeps a 'narayana' look-alike ponytail. Firm believers of god...bulla and chutiya( heyy...its hindi meaning of ponytail...not the 'C' word).Healthcare capsule makers have used both to promote their capsules in a traditional ad campaign. "Before-After".
The 'Casanova' Gulshan : Indian Casanova has a new face...its sacrifice.Gulshan is a heart-throb who marries and sacrifies his wives for Ibu Hatela and he leaves all her wives even before 'suhaag raat' (gulp gulp...I'm sweating). He always keeps roaming around prostitution areas.His frequency to marry a gal is more than rainfall at cherapoonji. This character gives a medieval touch to the film where kings used to marry multiple times...A ROYAL TOUCH. Not only the gals but neighbours of that gal also keep photo of Casanova in their pockets.A recent survey suggested that people were so mesmerized by this character that condom companies started putting his photo on the wrapper followed by their slogan "Phool khilege Gulshan Gulshan".
To be continued....
Well, there are hundreds-thousands-millions of blogs written on this epic and its just another one but i am so spell-bounded and impulsive that i cant stop myself. The best thing which rocked the movie till end is the series of unimaginable incidents and action which is obviously a result of scrupulous and well imagined write-up.
The baap of all 'Entries' : The first appearance of Prabhuji is no less than a fairytale entry. A 'coolie' at an airport's runway. Forgive my negligence or lack of knowledge but in my whole life i have never seen a 'coolie' at an airport. Only prabhuji can do marvels like this. He already knew that Kala Shetty and all other villains fly by air now a days (thanks to cheap air-tickets) so he barged directly into the airport. No detectors, No X-ray macs, No security can identify prabhuji's presence other than that pauper villain's soul (our own kala shetty)...unlucky him.Shetty was happy by act of benevolence of prabhuji...Prabhuji didnt detached his neck by a flick of his 'sudershan chakra' (billa no 786) which he used to do in ancient times.Morevoer, prabhuji never wanted people to unveil his identity so he was never seen in 'coolie' dress again in whole movie. PRABHU LEELA....
The indispensable 'Bulla' : The other thing which stops blood in your vein is dialogue delivery of BULLaaaaaa. "Mera naam hai Bulla, rakhta hoon khullaaaaaa". A large spell at the last word of every sentence produces a fiercing sensation and a pitch with noise more dangerous than the plane landing.No doubt he will be counted in the league of Mogambo, Shakaal and Gabbar after this performance. Gabbar had special love for dogs, shakaal for crocodiles and mogambo for Mr India watch but BULLaaaa is an animal lover. He keeps tiger (dont raise your eye lashes...they call him 'tiger'), our national animal....the fastly extincting tiger. He goes for a jogging at dockyard several times a day in every half an hour (depends when director gets that place to shoot, the ship standing there moves only 100 inches each day) .This guy is a disciple of Lord Krishna and he usually plays his flute without exhaling out air...David blain listening ?? His casting couch awards nominated brother (Shakti Kapoor) is a pure vegetarian and has special love for 'kela' (hope they meant bananas) and gulps Vitamin X capsules (probably homeopathic ally made indian counterpart of Viagra). Not to forget, he keeps a 'narayana' look-alike ponytail. Firm believers of god...bulla and chutiya( heyy...its hindi meaning of ponytail...not the 'C' word).Healthcare capsule makers have used both to promote their capsules in a traditional ad campaign. "Before-After".
The 'Casanova' Gulshan : Indian Casanova has a new face...its sacrifice.Gulshan is a heart-throb who marries and sacrifies his wives for Ibu Hatela and he leaves all her wives even before 'suhaag raat' (gulp gulp...I'm sweating). He always keeps roaming around prostitution areas.His frequency to marry a gal is more than rainfall at cherapoonji. This character gives a medieval touch to the film where kings used to marry multiple times...A ROYAL TOUCH. Not only the gals but neighbours of that gal also keep photo of Casanova in their pockets.A recent survey suggested that people were so mesmerized by this character that condom companies started putting his photo on the wrapper followed by their slogan "Phool khilege Gulshan Gulshan".
To be continued....
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